One For The Guys

I'm directing this message toward the men out there. It can also be referenced by the ladies. Or it can pertain to whatever fucking pronoun you want to call yourself.

If your lover/wife ever gives you a phone number and says, "This is my new friend. Y'all have a lot in common. You would get along with him. Give him a call."  Yes! It is certain that she is fucking him. You know these words are true. She knows these words are true. And women blame it all on the guys. Women are just as promiscuous as men are, if not more so. 

I have discovered that I enjoy being by myself and being left the fuck alone. No more lies. No more deceit. The financial maintenance of another man's plaything is over.

My ex-wife and her fuckboi weaved such an intricate web of lies that I don't want to destroy it, yet. It is too beautiful. It is too perfect. They trapped themselves in a corner. Now they have to live with it. Everyone they work around and with knows the truth. They were even warned by a superior but did not care. Poison!

For now, it's just random thoughts. But I have all their correspondence. I'm working on the book. Jerry Springer, Geraldo, and Doctor Phil would fight over this one.

Love? Dead!

I remember a time when love had meaning. Trust, truth, loyalty, forever. Now the word is tossed around like the other key words of today, such as: racist, misogynist, sexist, and privilege. Love no longer has meaning. The promise is empty and hollow. Love Is a lie. Adultery is encouraged, accepted, and embraced. Women blame men. Men blame women. They are both wrong. It is the individual.

Sex has become a tool. Manipulative. Something to barter with. Something perverse. Intimacy is dead.

Sex, power, and greed have polluted love. Fear and doubt now rule the realm. Humanity prefers a tragedy over a triumph.

Marriage is now an institution. A bond of convenience. A marriage certificate is just an instrument for lawyers to fight over. Humanity returned to its simple and dark roots. Kill, rape, pillage, and burn. Now I understand why Freddie Mercury said, "sometimes wish I'd never been born, at all."

I've always known I would see the end of humanity. I've known it since a child. I did not want to believe it. I denied it. Humanity is dead. A semblance of civilization carries on, but compassion and love are dead. 

Enjoy the numb spoils of your battles. That's all you have left. Try not to choke on your lies and deceit.

My regrets

There are but four things I regret in my life. The first, not going to an adult and reporting things that happened to me as a child. It gave me a side darker than a moonless night. The second, confronting my wife about her promiscuity and adultery. I should have just kept working and let her maintain her boy toys. At least I would have had another 12 years with B. "Some people steal, not for the monetary value, but for the thrill of getting away with it. That's why I was cheating on you. The thrill I was wondering if you would ever catch me made the sex so much better. One guy led to another and before I knew it there were 16 guys." Her final words left my soul empty. The third, not reporting a young teen girl mouthing the words "help me," from a Suburban that pulled away from McDonalds. I thought she was joking because her mother was yelling at her. Now that I stand and fight against human trafficking, I have nightmares about that day. The fourth, betting $30,000 on the Astros to beat the Nationals in game 7 of the World Series a few years ago.

These are all major mistakes. They could have all been avoided. The first regret made me hate myself. After that, I did not care. I accepted the fact that bad things were going to happen to me.

Some people live outside the storm, some people live in the eye of the storm, some people live in the chaos of the storm.

Fuck it! Back into the maelstrom.