My white privilege

 I want to tell you the story have a little white boy that seems to have misplaced his privilege. That little white boy is a grown man now. He doesn't want your pity. He wants you to leave him the f*** alone. There is a rage inside of him every day that he has to fight to quell. You would never physically hurt another human. But he is still very self-destructive. Why? Because he does not want anyone else to feel when he has felt. That he is me.

When I was 8 years old, I was molested and sodomized by 2 black boys that were three or four years older than me. The adults that I talked to about the incident, told me not to tell my parents. The attackers' older brother was the star of the high school football team. They also told me that my dad would probably beat someone half to death and end up in jail. So I shut up. I had nightmares and still do. I tried to drown myself in a swimming pool a year later. Unfortunately, the Red Cross girl found me floating in the water. I wish I would have died right there.

A few months before I turned 10, we moved on to a Native American reservation. The day we arrived, the talk around the village was that of a white man who had his genitalia cut off and stuck in his mouth and his throat cut. They found him less than three miles from where I was going to be going to school. I got the shit kicked out of me every day. They used to hold me down and they would hold me down and grind their heels into my hands. They would choke me until I passed out. They hated me because I was white. They did unspeakable things to me. They threatened to kill my younger brothers if I did not do what they said. I did that homework. I let them win at things I could have easily won. I stole for them, to lessen my beatings.

I just want to know where the f*** the white privilege is in any of that. I could easily be a racist, but I'm not. I hate everyone. The entire human race. I look forward to the day it destroys itself.

There's a lot more to the story. You would not believe it. I'm tired of the lies, deceased, distrust, use, abuse, and hatefulness of humanity. Humanity is dead. 

I just want to be left alone.