My white privilege

 I want to tell you the story have a little white boy that seems to have misplaced his privilege. That little white boy is a grown man now. He doesn't want your pity. He wants you to leave him the f*** alone. There is a rage inside of him every day that he has to fight to quell. You would never physically hurt another human. But he is still very self-destructive. Why? Because he does not want anyone else to feel when he has felt. That he is me.

When I was 8 years old, I was molested and sodomized by 2 black boys that were three or four years older than me. The adults that I talked to about the incident, told me not to tell my parents. The attackers' older brother was the star of the high school football team. They also told me that my dad would probably beat someone half to death and end up in jail. So I shut up. I had nightmares and still do. I tried to drown myself in a swimming pool a year later. Unfortunately, the Red Cross girl found me floating in the water. I wish I would have died right there.

A few months before I turned 10, we moved on to a Native American reservation. The day we arrived, the talk around the village was that of a white man who had his genitalia cut off and stuck in his mouth and his throat cut. They found him less than three miles from where I was going to be going to school. I got the shit kicked out of me every day. They used to hold me down and they would hold me down and grind their heels into my hands. They would choke me until I passed out. They hated me because I was white. They did unspeakable things to me. They threatened to kill my younger brothers if I did not do what they said. I did that homework. I let them win at things I could have easily won. I stole for them, to lessen my beatings.

I just want to know where the f*** the white privilege is in any of that. I could easily be a racist, but I'm not. I hate everyone. The entire human race. I look forward to the day it destroys itself.

There's a lot more to the story. You would not believe it. I'm tired of the lies, deceased, distrust, use, abuse, and hatefulness of humanity. Humanity is dead. 

I just want to be left alone.

2022 midterms versus the Delta variant

It appears the progressive liberals will stop at nothing. They will kill half the population and destroy the country before they ever allow a conservative to run it again.

The closer we get to the 2022 midterm elections, the more and more they are pushing another stay-at-home mandate. Mail-in voting. Then they can cheat again they can steal the 2022 midterms. Just like they did the 2020 election.

If we allow them to take over the country, we will never get it back. Never. We need to stand up now. We need to demand recounts in every state. This is not about race, religion, sex, or creed. This is about saving the greatest nation on the planet. It is time for America to stand up. Live on your feet or die on your knees.

The government is lying to you. You've become too soft, lazy, and fat to see. It's not you destroying the planet. It's them. You are just slaves to the grind. Flocks of birds and swarms of bees do not just fall from the sky. It's not insects killing them. Its 4G and 5G radio waves all over the world. They acted just like a microwave. They're killing the birds and the bees and they're heating up the planet. Don't trust me or take my word. Do your own research.

"Do the math," says the political affiliation that claim dictator Biden got more votes than Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Lies. Lies. Lies.

"Trust the science," says the political affiliation that claims there are over 200 different genders. Science says there are two genders. Male and female. Everything else is a mutation, abnormality, or aberration.. And also claims that a mask that stops particles larger than 20 microns will stop a virus smaller than .14 to .6 microns in size. More lies.

Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself. President Trump did not collude with China and Russia. Hunter Biden, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and the rest of the current Administration are guilty of what they accused President Trump of.

The January 6th 2021 incident at the Capitol was staged by the progressive liberals. Two of the alleged "insurrectionists" are members of the Philadelphia BLM. Don't trust me. Do your research.

If you get a vaccine, you don't have to wear a mask. More lies. If you get a vaccine, you're protected from covid-19. More lies. If you don't get a vaccine, you're not American and don't love anyone. That's a lie. Trust your body. I know many people who contracted covid-19 six months before it was allegedly in America. They are fine. They got sick and got over it. That's what the human body does. To hell with them and their vaccine. And they can take their microchip and stick it where the sun don't shine. Don't trust me. Do your research.

Isn't it odd that the FDA is dragging their feet on federally approving the vaccine? Isn't it odd that the three men that have the patent on the vaccine also have the patent on the virus? Bill Gates, George Soros, and dr. Fauci. Don't trust me. Do your own research.

There are three books you should read right now. Every stinking one of you. You're not doing anything else. Sitting at home, drawing that government check. Here's three little books you should read.

George Orwell - 1984

Ayn Rand - Anthem

Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451

After reading these three books you will have a new perspective on what's going on. We were warned. As late as Dwight Eisenhower, we were warned about the military industrial complex. Be afraid. Be very afraid. But be ready to stand up and fight for what is yours. Freedom is not free. What better way to die than to give your life to ensure a pure and clean future for our children?

And who remembers in January of 2020 when President Trump tried to shut down flights to and from China, Nancy Pelosi called him a xenophobe. She went to Chinatown, danced in the streets and told people to come on down. They wanted this virus so they could shut everybody down and force mail-in voting. It made it so much easier for the progressive liberals to usher in socialism and eventually a new world order. 

It's all about subjugation. It's all about control. It's all about dominance and submission.

Art

A poem does not have to rhyme. Ask Charles Bukowski. A song does not have to maintain a certain rhythm. Ask Neil Peart. A painting does not have to be geometrically perfect. Ask Salvador Dali. Don't be afraid to stray from the norm. Art has no boundaries. Just create.

Suicide is painless?

Suicide is far from painless. All the sadness and emptiness, that leads to suicide, fills the soul with a pain that is unequivocal. Leaving hope behind is the most agonizing feeling I have ever know. Recently, someone told me that I was wrong.  That what I described was depression. No. Depression leads up to that feeling. From the time of decision to the second of commitment, there is a mental and physical terror that takes over. Some turn within and remain withdrawn. Others lash out and push everyone away. Usually there is no escape from this hell. The flames of self destruction consume the individual. It might be minutes, days,  months, even years...but once the choice is made...it is done. 

Written 04/05/2019

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The fault is mine

I find it curious, yet disheartening, that humans pray for the perfect mate, and then deny  nature when that person arrives. The more perfect the relationship, the more doubt sets in. The imagined fantasy of mortal perfection  is realized.  There is no such thing. Soon thereafter,  problems  that do not exist are sought out. Tiny things that remind us of past relationships are Amplified into mental and emotional cancers. The guilt game begins, followed by the blame game. Answered prayers are tossed aside. Fate and destiny are destroyed. The realization of self infused iniquities arrive too late. Trust is lost and seldom regained. I have witnessed this and I have lived this. I have trusted too many times and been betrayed. Trust is now a shadow of a shadow in my world..

My Illusion That Told Me She Was An Illusion

The midnight sands swirl around my boots as I wander, lost in thought, across the barren crystalline shards. Memories left behind through thousands of years of love, written in the heavens, that slowly crumbled under mortal perceptions and decayed under feet of careless travelers. Trampled and forgotten by most. But I will never let go of such sacred bonds. Moments filled with the essence of a lifetime.  I will find her again. She was the one. She is the one.
The celestial beings will lead me home.
I am tired, worn and weary.  I must rest. Tomorrow, another day, will bring the warmth of a new hope, for there is little this night beyond the bitter chill of solitude. Just a few more steps. Just a few more...
When I first see her, I think her to be a mirage, an illusion,  a deception of light. But realize that the veil of night conceals such detail. What vision is this that I behold before me? Not but twice have I been stilled to silent awe. I must be asleep. Dreaming. Yes! That is it! But, no! I am quite lucid. Aware. Awake. Rubbing my eyes, I realize that through some ancient magic, she has  borrowed the paleness of the moon to color her skin. Her lips like 2 rose petals stolen from Eden. Eyes like gemstones pried from the crown of creation.

She smiled and whispered, "I am not real. I will disappear as quickly as I appeared." I did not listen. I fell in love.  

She disappeared.  

Written June 2018


I enjoyed the brief maelstrom of eternity,  but felt the cold fires of immortality.

Note to self: edit tenses. You're babbling.

The basic principles of humanity are dead

For most, love is a tool, conditional, or a social contract, used for personal gain. No matter the damage caused to others within the sphere. Emotional tools are very destructive and leave permanent scars. Choreographed conversations are used to construct conditions of commitment. Usually lies  to mislead and manipulate. And some avow love and enter a social contract for business reasons. True love is dead.

For many, trust is a mythical Beast. Something offered off-the-cuff and not usually meant. The dark fog of doubt is always hovering  above and around trust. Trust is no longer personal, it is destroyed by the embellishment of societal misfortune. Trust is dead.

For all, truth is only a perception. It has become normal for people to offer just enough truth to mislead other people. Truth with a safety net. Plausible deniability is now the footnote to truth. Truth is dead.

For me, justice is just a shadow of what used to define the soul of humanity. As long as I have something that someone else needs, I am useful. After that, I am just a pawn to be tossed aside. I am sacrificed on the pyre of someone else's guilt. Justice is dead.

I no longer desire any human interaction. I came in world alone and I will leave the world alone.

Written  Dec 2019